This weekend is book-ended by a work contract that ended Friday and another that begins Monday. Champagne was popped Friday night, which was both celebratory and revelatory.
I’m somewhat bewildered to say that bottle sat in my fridge for one year. ONE YEAR. It was a gift from my Number One and her husband when I moved back to Toronto and into this new home. At the time I was overrun with the magnitude of unpacking, settling in and resetting my compass. So I waited to open it. And then I thought I’d wait just a bit longer until I nailed down a new job … though surely I’d uncork it at Christmas.
Ringing in the new year after an accident that required a long stretch of healing meant that bottle was no longer on my radar. When I did notice it at the back of the fridge, I’d tell myself: soon, soon, there will be something that deserves to be christened by this bottle. New work materialized, despite dashed hopes. Even my birthday came and went. A much-anticipated trip was planned and booked. And then I finally asked myself: what was I waiting for? There were plenty of moments both big and small that I didn’t dare allow myself to celebrate deeply, or with abandon, or with champagne. Maybe I was afraid they’d slip through my grasp if I acknowledged them aloud, or simply disintegrate if I shined a light on them. Or maybe I allowed myself to believe that champagne was meant for a bona fide moment or occasion that validated success beyond the humble day-to-day goings on in my life. I allowed accomplishments to feel fraudulent and unworthy of my attention and the fullness of my heart.
None of us needs a bottle of champagne to accompany significant moments. But holding ourselves back from experiencing our triumphs, no matter how small, flattens our spirit and extinguishes joy. And so, I popped it! No more waiting …
Sunday | Banana-blueberry pancakes with grilled peaches and maple syrup, no holds barred. Time to create quiet space that not even a phone is permitted to penetrate. Editing photos from yesterday’s trip to Toronto Island, music filling the spaces in between. Delving into laundry and lists and the mundane aspects of life that always feels disproportionately good to sort out.
I hope your weekend has given you some of that good old comfort stuff as well.